What we do to protect ourselves against loss! Fear of change is rooted in our conviction we will lose a substantial part of who we are if we change. Not knowing how we will BE after we change leaves us with a feeling of deep insecurity.
Resistance to change, resistance to taking a plunge into the abyss of the unknown is guarding the ME we are now. This is not a small or easy endeavor. We might not like the ME we are now, but, we tell ourselves, what if after taking that plunge we are in more pain than we are suffering now?
We may like or even love the idea of a new way of being but we resist change anyway. Even when the change is a new adventure which would change our lives…a change we have so hoped for: living in calm acceptance of who we are, no longer pulling back from fully embracing all of life; launching a project where we would be submerged in a passion, a dream, we’ve had for many years.
I think most if not all of us have ghosts or some kind of annoying or even scary monsters we lock up in our psyches. Thinking about and trying to clean out this closet in our psyche/mind/being often triggers a knee-jerk response ranging from passive avoidance to downright dig in my heels with "I won’t do that!" Seldom is the first reaction, "Just do it!"
If you are one of the majority and resist change, beating yourself up doesn’t work and giving yourself a pass doesn’t work either. Instead persist. Climb up to better ground in your thinking. Challenge the judgements you have made about yourself that you assume are true.
Persevere in taking the plunge to discard beliefs which sabotage you.
Mary Seyuin, M.A. LLP